Employment Law2026-10-11

I moved out before my parental leave started – can I still call it off?

You applied for parental leave, then the relationship broke down and you moved out. What that means for the application already in place – and when you can genuinely get out of it.

You gave your employer proper notice of your parental leave, the arrangements were all agreed – and then the relationship fell apart. You have moved out, the child is staying with the other parent, and suddenly a question arises: do I still have to take the parental leave, even though the child is no longer being cared for in my own home?

In short

No, you cannot simply call off parental leave just because you have moved out. Once you have given proper notice, you are, as a rule, bound by it. The parental leave begins on the date you specified. That remains true even if your circumstances change afterwards. The only ways out are with your employer’s agreement or in a narrowly defined case of hardship.

How I can help you

Checking whether your situation genuinely amounts to a case of hardship under § 16 Abs. 3 BEEG, or whether you remain bound by your notice
Negotiating with your employer about ending the leave early by mutual agreement
Reviewing any termination agreement you are offered before you sign it
Clarifying what moving out means for your parental allowance and your right to return to work

Why you are bound by your own notice

Under § 16 Abs. 1 BEEG you must request parental leave from your employer in text form – by email, for example. For leave taken up to the child’s third birthday, the deadline is seven weeks before the date you want it to start. For the period between the third and eighth birthdays, it is thirteen weeks. With that request you fix the period on a binding basis. The reasoning behind this is simple: your employer needs to be able to plan around your absence, arrange cover and reorganise staff. That is precisely why you cannot unilaterally undo parental leave once you have given notice of it, simply because something in your personal situation has changed. A change is only possible under the narrow conditions of § 16 Abs. 3 BEEG – more on that below.

Why moving out does not stop parental leave that is already in place

Under § 15 Abs. 1 Satz 1 Nr. 1 (household) and Nr. 2 (care) BEEG, the entitlement to parental leave requires that you live in the same household as the child and personally care for and raise it. These conditions must be met at the point when you give notice. They may fall away later – for instance because you separate and move out. In principle, that makes no difference to parental leave for which you have already given valid notice. The binding effect of the notice attaches to the point at which you make the request. It does not depend on the conditions for entitlement continuing to be met right up to the end of the leave. Ending the leave early is therefore only possible under the conditions expressly set out in § 16 Abs. 3 BEEG. There is one further express statutory exception, for the death of the child during parental leave. In that case the leave ends, under § 16 Abs. 4 BEEG, at the latest three weeks after the death.

The only way out: your employer’s agreement or a genuine case of hardship

§ 16 Abs. 3 BEEG offers two routes out of a notice already given. They are very different:

By mutual agreement (sentence 1): Parental leave can be ended early, or extended, if the employer agrees. That agreement is voluntary. Your employer is entitled to refuse it – for example because cover has already been taken on. Here it comes down to pure negotiation. The sooner you open the conversation, the more likely a solution that works for both sides can be found.

Hardship without agreement (sentence 2): Without the employer’s consent, parental leave ends early only on the birth of a further child or in cases of particular hardship. The statute gives, by way of example, serious illness, a severe disability, or comparably serious events. On top of that, the economic livelihood of the parents must be significantly jeopardised as a result. The employer may object only within four weeks, only in writing, and only on compelling operational grounds.

The decisive point for your situation: the circumstance on its own is not enough to count as hardship within the meaning of § 16 Abs. 3 Satz 2 BEEG. That holds even if, because you have moved out, you no longer have any entitlement to parental allowance or no longer live with the child. This provision is tightly tailored to the examples it names, such as serious illness, a severe disability, or an economic livelihood jeopardised as a result. A case of hardship may nonetheless be arguable. For that, you would need to show, in concrete terms, that without an early end to the leave you can no longer meet your own living costs or provide maintenance for your child. That is something quite different from the mere loss of the shared household. It has to be demonstrated on the facts of the individual case.

What happens to your parental allowance when you no longer live together

Parental leave and parental allowance are, in law, two separate things. That is why moving out leaves the parental leave untouched, while a different rule applies to the parental allowance. Under § 1 Abs. 1 Satz 1 Nr. 2 BEEG, parental allowance requires that you live in the same household as your child. If you move out, that condition falls away from the point of your departure. The consequence: for the period that follows, you will as a rule no longer have any entitlement to parental allowance in your own right. The employment-law parental leave towards your employer continues regardless. For those affected this is often the most bitter realisation: you are on unpaid leave, and the benefit that was meant to cushion this time no longer comes in during it.

How this looks in practice

A client works in the administration of a medium-sized company. After the birth of her son she gave notice of twelve months’ parental leave. Her employer took on fixed-term cover in good time. Two months before the planned start, she separated from her partner and moved into a flat of her own. Her son stayed with the father, who took parental leave himself. The client now wanted to work after all – she was, after all, no longer caring for the child day to day. The employer refused, because the cover was already up to speed and a fixed-term contract was running. The result: without the employer’s agreement, the parental leave as given notice of stood, because the separation on its own does not amount to hardship within the meaning of the statute. Only a conversation about a later, mutually agreed return produced a solution.

Common mistakes

Clients assume that the loss of the shared household automatically ends the parental leave, and simply turn up for work again – which can be treated as an unexcused absence.
Parental leave and parental allowance are confused: the loss of entitlement to parental allowance is wrongly taken as a reason to regard the parental leave as ended too.
A supposed case of hardship is only raised with the employer verbally, or too late, rather than being evidenced in good time and in a way the employer can follow.
A termination agreement offered by the employer is signed too hastily, without having the terms – in particular the deadlines and any severance payment – checked first.
People wait too long, even though an early, mutually agreed solution with the employer would often still have been possible.

Your next step

Sometimes the employer has already taken on cover and refuses, on that basis, to let you return to your old role. In such cases, bringing the employment relationship to an end is not uncommonly on the table. If a proposal of this kind is already in front of you, do not sign it unchecked. I am happy to go through with you what matters in a termination agreement before you put your signature to it.

Frequently asked questions

Can I still revoke the parental leave if it has not officially started yet?

No. The mere fact that the start date has not yet been reached makes no difference to the binding effect of your notice. You can only end parental leave early with your employer’s agreement, or in a legally recognised case of hardship.

What if my employer has taken on cover in the meantime?

In practice, that tends to weigh against your employer agreeing to end the leave early, since they have organised themselves around your absence. In legal terms, however, it makes no difference to your right to return early, without consent, in a genuine case of hardship.

Do I automatically lose my parental allowance if I no longer live with the child?

From the point you move out, the shared household with the child that parental allowance requires is, as a rule, no longer there, so the entitlement falls away. This affects only the parental allowance as a social benefit, not your employment-law parental leave.

Is there still protection against dismissal during this unwanted parental leave?

Yes. The special protection against dismissal during parental leave applies regardless of whether your personal circumstances have changed – as long as the parental leave is legally running, it continues to apply in principle.

Can I at least work part-time while the parental leave is formally running?

Part-time work during parental leave is possible under certain conditions, but it generally requires a separate agreement with the employer and is to be distinguished from the early termination discussed here.

This article provides general information and is no substitute for legal advice in an individual case. Last updated: 2026-10-11.

Christian Czirnich, Rechtsanwalt (attorney at law), Kirchseeon near Munich

Tell me when you registered your leave and who cares for the child now – I will look into it.

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